look on the light side

Imaging tomorrow’s burdens weigh less doesn’t make today’s any lighter. This wishful thinking lays waste to The Work required to withstand the weight of whatever burdens life holds. Carrying the burdens of today is the only way to strengthen the capacity to carry the burdens of tomorrow. Heave ho. 

afterglow

The afterglow is waring off. Getting my autism diagnosis relieved me of the ‘what’ I’d been searching for, but not the ‘how.’ And it’s hitting me. Hard. Late-diagnosed autism is a jagged little pill. I spent the last 37 years tirelessly learning how to be the me the world wanted me to be to needing…

masking

To ensure visitation by pollinators, the Bee Orchid utilizes a specialized form of floral mimicry in which its blossom develops with the appearance and odor of female bees in order to attract male bees. Pretty clever, huh? This mechanism is harmless to bees, other than being dishonest for the sake of survival. But I can’t…

compassion

Compassion listens, learns, accepts responsibility for offenses, holds space for rest and healing, and is sensitive to traumatic stress and suffering. We all need it and deserve it. If our compassionate words and actions don’t include compassion toward black community members, our compassion is incomplete. If we feel uncomfortable or inconvenienced by the suggestion to…

the art of making others uncomfortable

I can’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t curious about insects. A behavior almost always discouraged and deflated by others over the years, especially as a little girl. So I learned to hold my curiosity closer. To keep it quieter. To hide the parts of me that made others uncomfortable. I learned…

look-alikes

Knowing the difference between certain medical plants and their nefarious look-alikes can spare foragers and wildcrafters from a world of hurt. In some cases, death. The good news is one can easily learn this skill after a bit of solid study and a few seasons field practice. If only discerning between toxic and non-toxic people…

made in the shade

Friendship is a Full Sun plant. And I am a Shade Dweller. I’ve tried to adapt. Others have tried to make me adapt, too. Sometimes I feel guilty that Full Sun saps and scorches me. Not that I can help it. Sometimes I wish I was like the Full Sun plants. Not many plants grow…

obstinate aster {a poem}

Obstinate Aster, in bloom, despite bone dry earth and blistering heat. Built to survive. So am I. ~Shar

Autistic Burnout

Have you ever heard of the Sensitive Plant, aka Mimosa pudica? Like the name infers, this plant is highly sensitive to touch, and will fold and collapse its fan-like branch of leaves upon being touched. This action is called “thigmomorphogenesis” FYI. 🙂 Around 10 minutes later, the leaves typically go back to their regular unfolded…

mystery plant

Ya know those little plastic care tag sticks that come with plants when you buy them so you know just what kind of plant it is and what it needs to thrive and grow? I spent 37 years feeling like a plant whose tag must’ve gotten lost or something. Or that maybe I was some…